LISTEN HERE

Does the noise in my head bother you?” From the comedy, “The Gods Must Be Crazy,” we can laugh at the shared experience of our inner loudspeaker because we know it so well.  Whether a suited-up Wall Street executive or unemployed bib-overall worker, people enter the rooms saying, “My head is driving me crazy.”  

In olden days, we called this “The Committee.”  Often the Committee arrives at a standstill of 5 to 5.  A back-and-forthing, teeter-tottering into analysis paralysis.  Rather like a rocking chair: Lots of rocking - leading nowhere.      

Whatever we name these voices, we can ask ourselves, who is doing the talking and who is doing the listening? The brain is the Yacker. The Soul is the Listener.  Our job is to live in the Listener; to support the Listener, not the Yacker.  Sober Brain vs. Sober Mind.  The brain is individual.  The mind is vast, of Spirit and universal.  Along the way, we come to realize the gut and the heart also have minds.  Hence the universality of, “Follow your heart,” “I had a gut feeling,” “I intuitively knew.”

Bill says it best “… with the new God-consciousness within, what was common sense would thus become uncommon sense.  I was to sit quietly when in doubt and ask for courage and strength to meet my problems as He would have me.” [1]

In Step 3 we turn the issue over to God.  “Relieve me of the bondage of self.”  Freedom from the noisy brain.   I have a circular pin around which the circumference reads, “Turn It Over.”  Round and round it goes as over and over throughout the day, I turn the button to read, “Turn It Over.”  “Many times each day…. Thy Will not mine be done.”  [2]

A highlight to this dilemma comes from a sponsor who said, “You know you are working the Steps when the voice of your conscience sounds like your sponsor.”  Indeed, 33 years later I still hear Barbara’s voice in reply to my whining about the Program, “Before you go out again, (as I was about to do), call your friend who drank recently.  Listen to how great it is to start again as a newcomer with your hand up for 30 days.  Listen to how hard it is to get over the craving and the obsession with alcohol.  Have the privilege of listening to someone else for a while.”  With her voice ringing in my head years later, who is the listener here?

In AA we speak the language of the heart, and the ear is the avenue to the heart. [3]  The remedy comes from the privilege of listening to you.  The privilege of listening to others in meetings silences the Committee and the Monkey Mind.

Give the Monkey Mind a spiritual banana with a mantra like “Be Still.”  Put a leash on that puppy as it yaps away about the past and the future.  Skittering back and forth through puddles of despair, self-pity, fear, resentment or hate. My visual is a tape player.  Press the “Play” button and up comes the internal story line like: “He said. She said.  He did. She did.”  With a case of the “He-She’s” we lose perspective and are challenged to see our part in things. Time to press “Stop” button.  Or better yet, the “Erase” button and move on. 

A litmus test to determine our spiritual fitness is heard when we find ourselves conversing with people who aren’t there.  The Think-A-Thon ensues as we chat it up with invisible people or imaginary situations, particularly while driving.  To return to spiritual awareness, a little Indian brass bell called a God Bell dangles from my rear view mirror.  Swinging back and forth, as I swerve, dodge, and shout invectives to people not in my car, the tinkling bell restores my sanity.   A God Bell, a Singing Bowl, the purity of sound, and our listening for that sound, draws us home to prayer and to peace.